I Promise

UStheDUO

Somewhere between a few cheap thrills of attraction, fleeting connections and almost lovers, you came along. You literally crashed into my life, and made my whole world halt. But as unexpected as our love may be, please know that I love you, more than you could ever love me.  Our story may not be able to surpass what you previously have, but I promise that ours will be different. Ours will be about us, and no one else.

In all the throngs of loving you, I promise that I will never dare to change you. I will appreciate all that you are, love all that you’re not and help you achieve all that you can be.

I promise that I always find time to laugh and be goofy with you. I will never let any moment go unnoticed. Together we will cherish even the trivial times like when you grab my hand and hold it tightly. I promise to always feel the warmth of each hug and will never be the first one to pull away.

I swear I will ask endless questions all the time, about your past and your present and your dreams of the future. I just wanted to know what ticks you off, what makes you happy, and what else I can do to give you all that you deserve.

I know it might be a bit creepy, but I like listening to your breathing maybe because I wanted to find the rhythm that your heart beats, hoping that each one rhymes with mine. And I promise that this will not change.

I promise to be the source of your happiness. And I promise to take you to places where you’ve never been. And don’t laugh at me when I snap photos of you or us. I just wanted to etch all our moments especially the candid ones into a more lasting pensive.

And no matter how tired I am, I promise to exert efforts to see you and be with you and act as if only today matters.

When the world hits you hard, I promise to be by your side to comfort you. I will be your number one fan and cheerleader. When you can’t find me beside you, know that I am right behind you, just a few steps back. Far enough to let you grow and close enough to catch you when you fall.

When I am not broke (though I’m not sure if this will be frequent :D), I promise to shop with you and for you. I will be there waiting patiently while you fit clothes or debate on which shoes you want to buy.

I promise to be all flirty and playful and silly with you. I will drink with you, and play with all night with you when we’re both drunk.

I promise that I will try my hardest to learn all your games. And that I will try to enjoy them with you or just watch you play it, instead of nagging you when you almost forget the whole world exist because you’re attacking another team.

I know you have been badly scarred before, so I promise that I will always be honest with you. I will never conceal anything that you need to now. I will be truthful and upfront in every way I can. And I swear, I will always let the universe know that you own me, and never will I let them forget it.

Forgive me but I promise to be obnoxious. I will always text and call and send you hundreds of messages, because I just want to let you know how I’m my day is going and I wanted to know how yours is.

I promise to be always be clingy and will always cuddle and kiss you and be affectionate, no matter how long we’re together. When there are times when we need to be far apart, I will build memories that I can share with you.

This might be difficult but I promise to keep it together and won’t allow the pull of my fears and the existence of my complexities hinder me from loving and seeing you for what you really are.

In our world today, it is indeed hard being content in a relationship when two individuals are consistently evolving, always wanting something else and to be someone else. Maybe it’s hard to grow with someone instead of maturing just on your own. Maybe it will be crazy, and difficult, and would make us give up and pack up and leave. But with you, I swear, that’s just what our love is for. Our love is in all the mishmash of things, of feelings, of wants and needs and whatever else. You made me realize that even when everything else is not going right, what we have is worth fighting for. So I promise, that even if the whole world is asking me to give up on you, I will never. I will never walk away, unless you asked me to.

 I love you, beyond infinity.  Happy 60th day Yum. 🙂

My Beautiful Beginning

yum

Before you, I only exist in a limbo where I made myself believe that love does not dwell. That a promise of forever is nothing but a figment of some wild and stupid imagination. Day by day, I build walls around me, confining myself to the thought that happily ever after fails, so never will I ever be poisoned again by all those nonsense fairy tales. I was neither here nor there, I belonged to no one and have no one, but I embedded in my mind that I am safe, I may not be ecstatic but at least, my heart is intact. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe that love works, but not for me, just for others.

Then there are days when we stumble upon beautiful things. Same old brand new day that we thought will just be the same as all our yesterdays. But subconsciously, I think I have been hoping for that ray of sunshine, that flicker of change. At the back of my mind, I can no longer sugar coat the fact that my loneliness is getting the best of the façade that I created.

All of the sudden, you came crashing into my sight. With your pretty face and hotter than summer body, you literally made my whole world stop. You smiled, and I was immediately under your spell. I was mesmerized by the way you stupidly fix your hair and repeatedly wink for no reason and deliver rubbish jokes whenever you feel like it and laugh at the most trivial things. But just like any other guys, I promised myself that you will just be one of the games that I will play. Someone whom I know but will not bother really knowing at all. That I will not, in any way fall for you. You will be one of my perky Decembers or perhaps a playful January. But never did I thought that you will be my sweetest February until you proved to be my soul-altering, mind-boggling March.

When I finally admitted that I love you and I am in love with you, I swore that I am choosing you. Your quirkiness, your deliberate stupidity, your endless list of escapades, your side chicks, your warmth, your delicious scent, ever irritating yet so adorable mannerisms, your soothing voice, your peculiar ways. You and all of you. The same way that I chose you, you chose me. You chose me over leaner and sexier body, prettier face and still keeps on choosing me every single day.

Through all of the days, nights, minutes and even seconds that we are together, I promise to be the person who stays by your side; who allots time and exerts effort to be with you; who wouldn’t sleep ’til we are okay; who attempts cooking your favorites; who would learn about your hobbies and be brave enough to try things uncomfortable or feared or new with you; who would support you when the entire world says you can’t; who would supply you with happy thoughts and beautiful memories; who would shout how much you mean to me; who would hold you close even if you smell from basketball practice or gym work outs; who would bite her tongue to quit nagging; who would call you to wake you up or remind you about important dates and events; who would be your light when it’s dark; who would be your honest companion; who would be the best version of herself so you could be the best version of you.

Please know that the simple lack of you means more to me than other people’s presence. And no matter how much you love me, I will always love you more.