The One day at a Time Cycle

Heartbreak is a very complicated and gruelling experience.

At 7am, you wish your damn phone won’t alarm and you can just lay there and hide from the sunlight.

At 8am, you listen to the most uplifting and empowering music you know while making your way to work. 15 minutes later, you still feel like shit and wanted to hit that couple in the elevator kissing each other goodbye.

At 10am, you feel a sense of purpose. Like you are unstoppable and perhaps today fate will smile at you and maybe just maybe, today will be the day your heartaches will all be erased.

At 1pm, you are sobbing silently at your desk. Trying your best to be insignificant so no one will notice how badly you are falling apart.

At 2pm you will come running to the bathroom, crying some more but trying your best to fix your mascarra right after.

At 5pm you feel exhausted from your heart leading you on this emotional roller coaster and your brain unsuccessfully trying to take back control.

At 6pm you make your way to the gym. Hoping that as you do each and every reps, your tears won’t be distuigishable from your sweat.

At 8pm you try to buy the best ramen there is in town hoping to finally have the appetite to shove something down your throat aside from those sleeping pills washed down by endless bottles of beers.

At 9pm, you stare at your untouch dinner, pick up your phone, searched for his name in you messenger, saw that he is active but never bothered to send you a message. So the ramen ended up as fish food. And that tall bottle of vodka lovingly made its way to your lips.

At 10pm, you tried your best not to think of all the lingering memories of him in your house, in your bedroom. You chatted, called and IMed all of your friends to divert your attention. Then you ended up sleeping with the shirt he intentionally forgot in your washer.

Come 12 midnight, you squeeze your pillow. Shed millions of tears. Howling at the moon, wishing you can feel anything, anything but this.

The clock reads 4 am and you are waiting for the dawn to break. Knowing that you will just go through the same fucking cycle again.

Whoever said, one day at time works must have forgotten to mention that every single second of your day will suck. And every part of your body will hurt. Badly. You wanted to scream. And just throw everything else to make all the freaking pain go away.

If only there is an easy cure for a shattered heart, broken lives, and destroyed dreams.

If only.

#Marge2018

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